I must admit that I’m intrigued by the whole “Self Help” book genre. I can’t say that I’ve read a huge number of them, but I’ve sampled some. I’ve always been a firm believer that you can learn just about anything from a book, and it’s definitely the first place I go when I’m trying to become familiar with a new concept.

There’s something about self help books, though, that have always given me the feeling that I was somehow cheating.  The real big “lessons of life” need to be figured out on your own. They’re like mistakes — someone else can’t make them for you.

Having said that, I was intrigued by the title of Sean Stephenson’s book, Get Off Your “But.” It had a good sound to it, and I’ve always been a proponent of getting up and doing something when you want to solve a problem.

While Get Off Your “But” was a good title, the book itself lacked real meat, and I didn’t feel that it added much original content to the subjects that it presented.

The Blurb from the Back

In addition to presenting Sean Setphenson’s unbelievable life story, Get Off Your “But” offers anyone who needs to conquer fears and insecurities a hands-on guide for overcoming the forces of negativity and self sabotage. Sean — a successful psychotherapist — shows what it takes to overcome the big bumps in the road, elimate excuses, end insecurities, and ultimately stand up for happiness and success in life. As sean exaplains, anyone can fall victim to the “Buts”:

“But” Fears (BUT what if I fail…)

“But” Insecurities (BUT I’m not good enough…)

“BUT” Excuses (BUT there’s no time…)

Get Off Your “But” offers a practical guide for putting fear behind you and building the inner resources to become self-confident at work and at home. It’s time to get off your “but” and start leading the life you dream.

Don’t Go Too Easy on Me

Get Off Your “But” breaks itself down into six lessons (Start Connecting, Watch What You Say to Yourself, Master Your Physical Confidence, Focus Your Focus, Choose Your Friends Wisely, Take Full Responsibility). Each lesson describes the authors ideas on the topic, with multiple breakouts into how the lesson impacted his own life. After each lesson, the author also presents a “case study” of someone who put the lesson into practice with positive results.

The first lesson, Start Connecting, was the one I enjoyed the most, as it had the most concrete examples. The ten things that the author learned from Bill Clinton about connection were really interesting, and could be taken away and used almost immediately. However, in many of the other lessons, I didn’t feel that the author gave enough “tools” that were as practical in the real world.

I’ve mentioned in previous book reviews, that there is a difficult balance to strike when discussing a “technical” topic that your audience might not be that familiar with. You have to be careful not to weigh people down with too much technical detail, but you have to be sure not to talk down to them, either.  I think on this scale, Get Off Your “But” falls on the latter side of the scale. Many times, the topics are discussed at such high levels as to be oversimplified.

Inside Self Help

The other thing that struck me with this book, is that I never felt like I had an “a-ha” moment, where the author said something original and unique. I kind of hate to say this, as the author’s personal stories throughout the book show that he really has made it through quite a few challenges, and it’s hard to point to something specific in this, but I just never felt like I was hearing something new.

Along with this are various parts of the book, which had a kind of “inside baseball” feel to it. When the author speaks of his meeting with Tony Robbins, for example, I couldn’t connect with the excitement the author was feeling. At other points in the book, there are also details of the self help and motivational speaking world that I’m just not a part of, so it left me feeling like I wanted to skip over that section.

Why You Shouldn’t Listen To Me

Of course, having said all of this, the irony of the whole thing is that it’s taken me a good three months to read and write a review of a book called Get Off Your “But”. So, in the end, maybe I’m not the person you should be listening to.

Note: This book was sent to me as a review copy. While I try not to let this alter my review, I feel that it is only fair, in the interest of full disclosure, to let you know.

I’ve talked a couple of times on this site about how I go about picking the next book I’m going to read. The book in this review came to me through a somewhat different route.

I listen to a podcast about technology called This Week In Tech (or TWIT for short). It allows me to keep up on all things tech and is quite entertaining. If you’re like me, and are interested in technology, it’s certainly worth checking out. Not to mention, quite often they talk about books.

In this case, the book was Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, and I’m guessing I would not have picked this book up if not for the discussion on the TWIT podcast. However, I’m very glad I did.

The Blurb on the Back

When it comes to making decisions in our lives, we think we’re in control. We think we are making smart, rational choices. But are we?

In a series of illuminating, often surprising experiments, MIT behavioral economist Dan Ariely refutes the common assumption that we behave in fundamentally rational ways. Blending everyday experience with groundbreaking research, Ariely explains how expectations, emotions, social norms, and other invisible, seemingly illogical forces skew our reasoning abilities.

Not only do we make astonishingly simple mistakes every day, but we make the same types of mistakes, Ariely discovers. We consistently overpay, underestimate and procrastinate. We fail to understand the profound effects of our emotions on what we want, and we overvalue what we already own. Yet this misguided behaviors are neither random nor senseless. They’re systematic and predictable — making us predictably irrational.

Comically Serious

I don’t know that I would have picked this book up under my general meanderings if it wasn’t for TWIT, since books about behavioral science, and more specifically behavioral economic science, really aren’t my usual cup of tea. However, Dan Ariely does a nice job of making behavior economics interesting and entertaining.

One of the most interesting part of this book is the fact that you can very easily see yourself in any of these experiments, and most likely you would respond like the people mentioned in the book. One example of this is an experiment in which the author pretends to be working for a beer company and offers free samples of four different beers to tables of four people at a restaurant. He picks one person at the table and asks which beer he would like to sample, and then goes around asking everyone else. The first person picked the one they wanted the most, but as the author went around the table, the diners inevitably managed to pick all the four types of beer. Now, when the author returned with sheets asking the diners to rate their beers, who do you think liked theirs the best? That’s right, the person who picked first (and got to pick what they really wanted).

Now ask yourself if you’ve ever been at a restaurant and changed what you ordered because the person who ordered before you picked your fist choice. I know I’ve done it, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t as happy with my meal when it finally did show up.

This book is filled with many things like this. One experiments show that we are unwilling to let options disappear, even when we know those options aren’t worth that much. Simply losing the ability to choose something else scares us.

Another experiment shows that if you want to sell something, create something that’s easy for someone to compare it to. The makers of the first bread machine actually created a bigger, more expensive bread machine just to sell the one they really wanted to sell.

Basically Profound

The experiments described in the book are varied and numerous, but the off-the-cuff, “pal sitting next to you” manner in which Dan Ariely writes, makes the book that much more enjoyable. I am the pinnacle of ignorance when it comes to behavior science, so it was nice that Mr. Ariely was able to make the material (which could have been dry) very digestible and entertaining without making me feel like I was being talked down to.

Now, on the other side of that, and my only real complaint about the book, is the fact that in some cases the details of things are glossed over. In certain cases I would have liked to have seen more in-depth discussion of the specific topic being addressed. But that is a small complaint, and an understandable problem with a book such as this.

I enjoyed my walk through the world of the Predictably Irrational, and I thank the folks at TWIT for discussing it and bringing it to my attention.

Those are the questions that are really at the heart of Geeks by Jon Katz. You wouldn’t know this from looking at the book, or really from reading the introduction. From that, you would think it was an essay on geeks living in the world today. I figured it would start with a good definition of what a geek was, which it did in a way, but from that point on this book became something I really wasn’t expecting at all.

What’s a Geek?

The defining aspect of geek-hood given within this book was a feeling of being outside the mainstream. The definition didn’t revolve too much around technology. Many of the people interviewed within the book talked about being geeks, and what it meant to them, and it wasn’t all about how they lived their life through a computer.

Computers were discussed within the context of the geek life as a place where a geek could feel safe and connect with other people. It was the world that they belonged to. It was the refuge they could go to in order to feel safe after long, high school days of being bullied.

As I said at the beginning, though, that’s not really what this book was about.

The Author as a Character

In this book, the author sets out at the beginning to define what a geek is. He mentions his goal of compiling stories from geeks all over the world. That goal is soon pushed aside as he meets up with the main geek characters of the book, Jesse and Eric. These two, Jesse the more outgoing (for a geek) and Eric the “Silent Bob” side kick are at the heart of the book.

It is the author, though, who comes through as the protagonist of the story. His caring, and his self-described “non journalistic” activities, change the course of Jesse’s life, and to a smaller degree, Eric’s life. The author’s first act of caring is in the simple observation that Jesse’s skills with computers and networks could get him a job anywhere. This simple eye-opening statement changes Jesse’s life from that point on, and the book is the story of that adventure.

I don’t want to give away too much, but the author’s actions during the course of this book really do change a life for the better. Watching the transformation of the author himself is also part of the charm of this book. He starts off almost ashamed of himself for meddling in the life of a subject. By the end of the story, though, he’s as much a father to Jesse as anyone.

Is It Still Relevant?

This book was published in 2000, and compiled over a few years before that. This was a time when Google was not even yet a household word, when e-mail was barely breaking into the workplace, and when only a few people were bold enough to let their inner geekiness out of the closet.

An interesting aspect of this book is that while it was being written, the Columbine massacre took place. While I was affected by this when it happened, I was oblivious to the impact it was having on the geek world throughout high schools. The discussion of the injustices that happened after this event was eye opening and intriguing. It’s interesting to see this event in the context of this book, and also with nine years of time passing.

When I picked up this book at a used bookstore, I questioned whether the essay would even be relevant in the world today. Well, as I talked about above, this book is certainly not about computers or video games or pocket protectors. The ability of one person to completely alter another life is certainly relevant in today’s world, and the racing speed of technological advancement won’t change that.

Who would like it: People looking for an inspiring story. People who are geeks themselves will be able to take away even more.

Who wouldn’t like it: People who don’t want to challenge the way they see things, and who are so mainstream that geeks scare them.